The Thought of You
by hunyumstan
Summary: Emma has just come back from FTL, and it has made her realize something. Rated T for language. Maybe M later, idk.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: So the basis of this story is that there is already some sort of Swan Queen in work. More like unspoken/not so very understandable feelings._

* * *

They were half way to the diner, when Emma stopped abruptly. Everyone kept moving, not noticing. Finally Henry noticed and turned around, everyone followed suit. They saw Emma standing there, her head hanging low, her hands tucked in her pockets.

"Mom." Henry's soft voice did nothing to affect Emma. She just kept staring at the floor. Emma wanted it to stop, she needed it to stop. She wanted to take it all out, on the right person. She looked up after a while, surprised by all the faces looking at her.

"I have to go. I have to do this."

"Do what?" Mary Margaret asked worriedly as she stepped closer to Emma.

Emma retracted, "I have to." She turned and started to walk at a fast pace. The walk soon turned into a jog, and then a run. She was almost out of breath and strength, but luckily the town was small and Gold's pawnshop wasn't very far. She stopped in front of the door, taking in long heavy breaths to calm herself down.

The door of the pawnshop opened, startling Emma. Mr. Gold looked at her curiously. "Ms. Swan, what can I do for you?" It wasn't his jolliest fake expression, it was rather unamused and angry.

"Um, is, is Regina there?"

"I am afraid not. She left a while ago."

"Right. Thanks. Actually no thanks for you."

Emma turned and stomped away, angry at her late decision making skills. She decided to check Regina's place, but something in her told her that Regina wouldn't be there. Instinctively her steps took her to a place that she had recently visited – the magic well. And sure enough, Regina stood in front of it, immersed in her own thoughts. As Emma got closer she noticed something. Regina was shaking, not a cold kind of way, but in a sobbing kind. Though her sobs were quiet, her shaking proved how hard and bad she wanted to cry.

"It is ok you know. It is ok to cry sometimes, even when you are alone." Regina didn't reply. Emma moved closer and after thinking it through about 10 times, she placed a light but assuring hand on Regina's shoulder. The next few moments happened so fast that it literally stunned Emma, or maybe it was just Regina's reaction.

Regina tilted her head to the side, side gazing Emma's hand, and then she spun. Emma thought Regina was going to punch her in the face, but instead she hugged Emma, gripping her tight around the waist. Emma stood, her hands dangling, trying to understand what just happened. She hugged Regina back with as much strength and care she could muster. Regina began to cry at the touch and Emma was sure their embrace was the only thing keeping Regina from crumbling to the floor. They stood like that for a long time, until Emma decided to break the silence.

"I didn't mean it, I didn't mean to take Henry away from you again. Sorry." Regina's cries had simmerded down by then. She pulled away from Emma, not entirely believing what she had just done. They stare at each other for a moment. Emma reached a hand out, in attempt to wipe Regina's tears away, but Regina stopped her. A few tense seconds passed.

"And I didn't mean to do whatever I had just done Ms. Swan. And it sure doesn't give you the right to take it any further than it already has." Regina started to move past Emma, but Emma was in no mood for her rudeness today. She held Regina by the arm and pulled her back.

"What is the meaning of this? Let me go." There was anger on Regina's face, but her eyes deceived her.

"Not until you stop being this, this bitch."

"Excuse me."

"Excused!" Emma spat the word out.

Regina stared at her intently, and Emma could see she was clearly trying to figure out the best way to use magic on her. But what she didn't get was why she hadn't done it till now. "So since you haven't tied me up in a knot yet means you won't be using magic on me?"

"I promised Henry I would try, no matter how ridiculously annoying and irritating others might get. Now let my arm go, please." The apology wasn't really meant, but Emma let go anyways. "Thank you. Now why did you stop me, might as well get over with it. And make it quick, I have better things to do."

"See this, this attitude of yours, it annoys me so much."

"I can say the –"

"No, you don't get to talk. Let me just finish ok." Emma waited for a retaliation but didn't get one, so she continued. "Look I get it. I get that all your life you have worked hard to make Henry a good person, and I get that you want me out of Henry's life. But for just once, I would like you to stop being selfish and just even consider the fact that we _both _could be part of Henry's life." Tears started to roll out of Regina again.

"You don't get it do you? It is not just Henry that I have lost. I have lost a lot more."

"Daniel. I know. Mary Margaret told me. But you can't hold it against her forever, and you sure as hell can't project that hate on me."

"You and your family have found a miserably good amount of ways to destroy my life over and over again. And yes I lost Daniel, but I had him, though dead I had him. And now he is gone, forever. So is my son. No matter how much he believes I have changed, or how hard I am trying to, he always seems to prefer you over me."

"I am the new toy in his life Regina."

"And I am the old one that he has locked up in his attic. So kindly do me a favor and get the hell away from me." Regina moved closer to Emma, in a threatening sort of way. Emma stood her ground and looked her straight in the eye. "Don't make me use magic Ms. Swan."

Emma didn't say a word, instead she turned around and started to walk away. A few paces later she stopped and turned, "You know that is not even why I came here. To talk to you I mean."

"And I am guessing I won't be able to stop you from telling me why you actually did."

"I came here because –" She breathed in, filling her lungs to the max, "-because out there, when there was no way of getting back, no way at all, I thought of you. I didn't know why. No, I did know why and I think you do too. There was a time when in the beginning when I hated you so much. For Henry, for Mary Margaret, for everything you had done. But I couldn't hate you, especially not after I met your mother. I met the giant, you know, and he told me something. He said that the victor's get to tell the story. And meeting your mom made me realize, that maybe you are one of those. The one whose story doesn't get out there." Regina stood paralyzed. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"And it made me wonder, a lot actually." A little puffed laugh left Emma. "There has to be a reason why you are like this, why you hate me so much. I asked Mary Margaret, and she told me about you, about Daniel, about how you were forced into a marriage. And the funny part was, I didn't feel sad for you, or sorry. I felt connected. I get how vulnerable losing love can make you, especially when you don't have "ly."de me realize, that maybe you are one of those. The ones whose story doesn'ye.r you over people around you to guide you through it. Though I do think you went a little over-board with the whole curse thing." Regina smiled the tiniest of smiles. "But I want to be there for you now. I know we have had our ups and downs, but if I look deep into my hatred for you, the only source is Henry. But I want to change it. I want to make Henry the source of our understanding, of friendship." Emma paused, weighing her next words, wondering if they should be said out loud.

"Of love?" Regina's statement startled Emma.

"Of love." Emma agreed.

They just looked at each other. "So …" Emma said, not knowing what she was really looking for or asking.

Regina hung her head, tucking hair behind the ear. Emma see-sawed on her feet, waiting for a reply. "So …" Emma asked again, this time more impatiently.

Regina lifted her head and smiled at Emma, Emma smiled back rather awkwardly.

"So I think you should get back to your little reunion. And when you are done, how about you come by. You have a lot of catching up to do. And so do I." Emma moistened her tongue with her lips, still rocking on her feet and nodding.

Emma smiled happily, "You sure as hell do." With that she started to walk away again.

"Oh and Emma." Emma stopped, not turning around. "I am glad you came back."

"No problem your Majesty."

Regina felt at peace, happy that she can finally put the battles behind them.


	2. Chapter 2

The walk to the mayor – or ex mayor's – house was a long one. David had given her the keys to the bug, but she preferred walking, help's clear the brain and stuff you know. Come to think of it, it wasn't really that long, Emma's slow and cautious steps made it one. She stood in front of the door, hands tucked in her jeans pockets. Her breathing grew heavy, and something in her mind told her that this was a bad idea, but something else made her stand there and stare at the door. _Dammit brain, make up your mind. _It didn't, but something else – or someone else did. Regina opened the door wide, and stared intently at Emma.

"Since you were clearly not planning to knock anytime soon …"

"How did you know I was here?" Emma turned her head around to make sure she hadn't actually drove the bug here. _I mean what else would give me away?_

"Magic." Regina said, giving it a ring of excitement as if telling it to a kid.

Emma laughed, and abruptly stopped. "Oh you mean literally."

Regina cocked her head to the side, "Are you drunk?"

"Ask me that again in 10 minutes."

"You better come in then. Alcohol and cold aren't the best of friends." Regina stepped aside to make way for Emma. Hesitantly, Emma stepped in moving past Regina. "You were much more confident the last time we talked."

"Blame the adrenaline." The click of the door made Emma jump. Regina walked past her, stirring the air about in a way not known to Emma. It felt both cold and warm. It made her shudder.

"There is something different about you?"

Emma fell in step beside Regina, "Yea? Like how?"

Regina smiled, "You don't slouch anymore."

"Wow, neat, really neat." Emma's sarcasm wasn't misplaced.

"And I thought you were the one with a better sense of humour." They were in the same sitting room now, the one where Emma and Regina had shared conversation for the first time. An entirely different time, with entirely different feelings.

"I guess I am not anymore." Emma sat down on the couch opposite the fireplace, Regina took a seat on the comfy chair, facing Emma. She tucked her legs underneath her, looking at Emma with an intent and confused look. The confusion (or maybe fear) on Emma's face wasn't entirely hidden either.

"You are regretting this." It was a statement, not a question. Emma knew that, but she regarded it as a question anyways, hoping she would find the answer.

"I don't know. Maybe I am, but I know I am not supposed to. Or am I?" Emma could feel a convulsive shake making its way through. She entangled her fingers together and held them in between her knees, hoping the shakes wouldn't become so obvious.

They both sat in silence, Emma growing nervous by the second, Regina still as a rock. After a good five minutes or so, Regina broke off the silence.

"I appreciate you taking the initiative Emma, and I definitely appreciate you coming over here. But you should know, I have been through hell while you were gone –"

"I know Re-" Regina raised a hand, indicating Emma to stay quiet.

"You had you say this morning Emma. Let me now." Emma nodded, pressing her fisted hands even harder with her knees. "Thank you. So, as I was saying, I have been through a lot. I have seen things I thought I was done seeing, and I have done things that no one, not even the worst of people should have to live through twice. And I am alone. I know it is all my doing, and maybe I deserve it. But what I know for sure is that I don't want to live through any more pain the third time." She stopped, inhaled in a lung full of air, let it out and fell silent. Emma had a feeling Regina wasn't done yet, so she kept quiet. She was right. "So sorry if I sound rude, but if you have the slightest doubt in your mind, then I want you to get up right now, and leave. And things can go back to the way they were, or the way they are supposed to be, which ever suits you and the people of this town best."

Emma knew how hard it was to get over a heart break. And sometimes you just don't get over them. And maybe that is why she understood what Regina was saying, despite the fact that Regina had not entirely put it that way. So Emma let out a heavy sigh, nodded and got up. Regina's gaze moved with Emma. Emma whispered an apology and left.

Regina's eyes followed her figure until it disappeared. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, along with a couple of tears. She tilted her head, resting it on her shoulder and closing her eyes. She has wished, and wished really hard, that for once the current was with her. But who was she kidding. Her life was full of disappointments.

"Christ son of a bitch." The voice snapped Regina out of her sad world and she turned her head to the source of the sound. Emma was standing right outside the door, a mixture of annoyance and happiness stroked her features. "You just know what buttons to push don't you. No don't answer that, that wasn't a question anyways. You know you are right, I should leave right now. Because I am not just slightly doubted, I am a big huge bundle of doubts. Ok, maybe not huge, but big enough for your dislike. But I said something to you in the morning, and I meant it. I know what you are thinking, that I was very uncertain about this. But jeez woman, give me a break. If uncertainty and doubt don't come into play here, then what the hell is the point right? I mean, really, what is it?"

Emma stopped rambling when she saw the amused expression on Regina. Regina eyes sparkled with joy. Emma hadn't seen the mayor like this before. _I have got to stop calling her mayor. Jeez. _But nonetheless she enjoyed it. She smiled in return. "I'm doing it again, talking too much."

Regina raised an eyebrow, one side of her lip curving down. It would have been easier if she would have just said "meh". But she didn't. Emma took it as sign to continue, so she did. "Where was I? Hmm, point and stuff. I don't know how much sense it made, what I just said I mean, 'cause it did not to me, but it doesn't matter. What matters is that apparently having faith is the one thing that I know now for sure runs in my blood. Like hell it is embedded into my DNA. So despite all the doubts, uncertainties, and a little bit of fear that your magical powers raise in me, I am ready to put all my faith in you. At least the part that I need to."

Regina was smiling wider than before. "Ok, now you are scaring me. Do you usually smile at people like that before, you know before making them into a snail or something."

At this, Regina laughed heartedly. "Oh my dear, I don't need to be nice to people before I turn them into snails.**That **is just rude, don't you think?" Regina got up, fixed her skirt and made her way towards Emma.

Emma shrugged her shoulders. "I guess."

"Hmm. Tell me Emma, do you have somewhere to be?" Regina had walked past Emma now. Emma turned to look at the woman.

"Not really."

Regina nodded. "Good. Come with me then. I want to show you something."

"What?"

Regina stopped, side glancing at Emma. "You said you would give me all the faith you have got. Already turning on your word Ms. Swan?"

"Instincts can be a bitch sometimes."

Regina resumed her walk. "Finally used in the right context."

"What do you mean?" Emma asked, following her.

"Bitch, dog, whatever you say to curse people. These animals are known for their loyalty, faithfulness, but it's funny how everyone just calls everyone else a bitch. You used in an almost proper context."

"Thank God we don't have more people like you."

Regina chuckled. "Hmm, thank God that you have had enough, or else you would still be living in a cave."

Emma chuckled too. "I was thinking more along the lines of drag, life, boring, etc. So are you going to tell me where we are going?"

"Faith Emma."

"I know, I know. Just curious. Can I drive?"

"My Mercedes?"

"Mmhmm."

"You drive like some 18 year old who just got her license."

"Faith Regina."

Regina smiled. "I don't remember making any such statements."

"Oohoo there. We need to have a talk on the way to where ever."

"Lock the door behind you please. And try to talk else."

"I'll try, but see, I can't make any promises."

Regina wrinkled her nose. And Emma could see that young, so far veiled Regina simmer to life.

* * *

_A/N: So I honestly don't know where this story is going at the moment. I am just going with what I feel is right. Also you might feel Regina is a bit not her, and I get that, but for me, it is like Regina has been in this invisible bondage, and she feels, not entirely, but kind of at home with Emma. And that is why she allows herself to open up, be happy that young girl again for what it's worth._


	3. Chapter 3

Regina parked the car on the side of road, blocking most of the lane. This was Storybrooke, and traffic flow was between nil to negative infinity, so it didn't really matter. It was dark though, really dark. Regina switched off the lights and engine, and Emma swore it would make the perfect setting for a horror movie.

"Don't be such a faint heart, Emma. Come on."

Regina stepped out, so did Emma. "I'm just saying, a little light would have been good. You could have at least added that in your town council agenda."

Regina slipped her hands into her jacket pocket, purring away the cold. "How many people do you think have come out here in the last 28 years?"

Emma shrugged, "3 maybe?"

Regina scrunched her eyes at Emma, "That is a very accurate number. And that was also a rhetorical question!"

"I can just never get it with you. This is going to take a lot of time."

"And I am trying to help you with it."

"By taking me into a jungle at night and most probably letting the wolves come and eat me?"

Regina stopped, turned towards Emma and whispered something. Emma gawked at Regina, fear creeping through her spine. She was just about to bolt and run for her life when something happened. A faint light appeared, growing brighter. Emma went silent, galvanized by the image.

"Woah." was the only reaction Emma could muster.

"I thought you would have seen magic already, since you just came from a land so full of it."

Emma nodded like a little girl. "Mmhmm, yea. But see here is the thing, where the hell is all this light coming from?" Emma looked around, turned 360 degrees, looked up and down and side to side, but there was no source of light, at all.

Regina patiently waited for Emma to get done and when she finally was Regina said, "There is something on your hair dear. This side." Regina pointed at Emma's right shoulder.

Emma eyed her suspiciously and raised her hand towards her hair. She slowly turned her head down to look at the hair in her hand. Emma's eyes widened, her mouth hanging open in amazement, "Ummm … h-how?" Emma gulped, audibly.

"It works better on blondes, the hair colour is lighter. Works even better on people with white hair. Oh you should see that glow. Mesmerizing."

Emma let her hair go and straightened her head. "So my hair is glowing."

"Precisely."

"Like, like the thing they showed in Tangled."

"Tangled?"

"Yea the Disney movie. The one in which Rapunzel's hair glows."

"Does Disney enjoy throwing around all this false information? And you all actually believe it." Emma could hear the slight disgust in Regina's voice.

"I am not going to argue with you about Disney and how they portray you people."

"They do it wrong, and Rapunzel's hair **never **glowed, neither was it long. Beautiful, but not long."

"Hey you know, maybe one day you could give me a class about how wrong Disney is and how it all really truly was, but right now, I would like my hair to stop doing this thing they are doing."

"You wanted light. You have it."

"I didn't want my **hair **to be the source. Make your hair do it."

"You really don't listen do you? My hair won't have the same effect as yours. My. Hair. No. Your. Hair. Yes."

"Fine, fine, fine" With every 'fine' Emma stomped her foot, trying to shake off the weirdness. "Let's just go."

"Thank you!"

"No problem." Regina jerked her head towards Emma, her brows furrowed. "Jeez I know. It was a sarcastic thank you. Live a little." Emma waved her hand in the air superficially. "Can I ask you something?"

"Hmm." Regina's hand were still tucked in her pocket, and she was shivering a bit too.

"You want my jacket. You seem to be freezing up."

Regina chuckled. "No thank you. And is that what you wanted to ask me?"

"Not really. Well. Back at your place, when you moved past me, the –"

"Air shifted around in a way not known to you previously?" Regina finished her sentence.

"Ah, yeah."

Regina nodded. "It comes with magic. Things around you change. I won't be able to perform any magic without the four main elements of the universe."

"Earth, air, fire, water."

"Bravo, yes. It is all interconnected. And when someone does magic, or has magical abilities, the universe and its elements slightly bend around them. Sort of like shuffling on a bench to make space for a new arrival."

They walked in silence while Emma soaked it all in. "So why didn't I feel it on the day the curse was broken."

"Emma dear, I was without magic for 28 years, you have to give it time to resurface." As the conversation concluded, so did their walk. In front of them stood the tomb Emma had been to before.

"Was his name really Henry?"

Regina's nod was the only answer. She drew in a breath and walked up the steps. Emma followed, and helped her push the lid of the tomb aside. She expected to see a decayed mummified human in there, but all she saw were stairs, leading down to a secret chamber of sorts.

Regina lowered herself into it, but Emma stayed put. "Faith Emma. Remember?" Regina's voice echoed up the walls.

"I do. But you are asking me to make a huge leap here. I thought I would try out the baby steps route first."

"I would move it all to my house and show it to your there, but I am not in the mood for redecoration and I definitely don't have any movers at my disposal given the current situation. And this is a baby step."

Emma still didn't move. She closed her eyes, took in a deep breath and nodded to herself. Then she descended into the chamber. _Oh God. Oh God. Oh. My. Damn. God. _When Emma's foot hit solid ground, she spun quickly, covering up her bases. Regina was a couple of feet ahead of her, standing still. Emma looked past her and down the corridor. It was a short one, but not non-creepy. There were arched entrances, two on each side and one right up front. All covered by the most striking, and expensive red velvet drapes.

"This place is all I could get from the other world to this one. I actually didn't need anything bigger than this. My life had been a very lonely and empty one, with even less prized possessions." Regina resumed her walk, silently beckoning Emma to follow. She did.

Emma halted when they reached the first two entrances. On her right was a place whose walls were filled with these little tiles. Black with a red center of heart. There were 100's of them, on all three walls. Emma's heart sank when she realized what it could possibly be.

Regina sensed the tension in Emma's body, without even looking at her. Magic has its perks. "Yes they are." It didn't incite a reply from Emma. "But not all are mine. Majority of them are my mothers. I kept them, don't know why, I just did."

After what felt like hours, Emma finally tore her eyes off the little boxes and turned her head left, to see what was beyond the other veil. It was the most exquisite glass coffin but empty. Emma didn't understand.

"It's Daniels." Regina's voice was soft, and broken. "It's the only thing left now, helps me remember he was real when I forget, helps me remember he is gone forever now. I had a ring of his once, the one he proposed me with, but now it's gone too. Revenge is powerful. Can force your mind into losing things that you hold dear."

Her voice was trembling by then. Emma shifted her gaze back to Regina. Regina was looking down, her arms hanging limply on the side. Emma moved towards Regina, putting an arm around. Even with Emma's arm around her, Regina shivered. Emma knew it wasn't from the cold. Emma gave her a few moments to calm herself down. She turned to look at Regina's crushed form and whispered, "Come on."

Regina did not move. Emma applied slight pressure on Regina's side, urging her ahead. After a while, Regina poised herself. Too lost for words, she thanked Emma by placing her hand over Emma's and pressing it.

"No problem." Emma replied in response.

Regina moved forward, letting Emma's hand slip away. Emma felt like she had lost something and Regina felt lonely. With a wave of a Regina's arms, the drapes covering the last archway parted. There were mini slots carved into the walls, separated by a few inches either ways. Each niche held a small item. There were jewelry boxes, boxes, mini chests, plates – round and square, and so much more. Emma positioned herself in the middle of the room and turned about, looking at it all.

"What are these?" She inquired moving closer to the wall right in front of her to examine things closely.

"Things that meant something to me - for reasons either good or bad. They are all a part of me."

Emma pivoted and raised her arms in a grand gesture. "So this is you?"

"Part of me, yes. I know you want to get to know me better, but I don't know how to tell you things or what? Or where even to start from. So take your pick Emma Swan, pick up anything from here and ask me about it and I will tell you. I don't know what other way could possibly help you know me better. So here we are."

Emma grinned from ear to ear. "Well then Regina, you better get pizza delivered. Because a, I am craving pizza real bad. B, it is going to be a long, long night."

* * *

_A/N: 1. So I think I know where this is going. But my mind changes really fast. And so far, it is not heading towards a very happy ending. I have a knack for that kind of stuff, I mean no happy ending stuff. I am really telling myself to move towards a happier end. And I know it is going slow, but I want it like that. Everything has been so haphazard in both their lives lately, that a calm feels nice._

_2. Also, i am trying to make up a list of things that could be possibly be in Regina's vault and what they would mean. I have a few things lined up, but if you all have anything in mind, then please do tell!_

_3. Thank you for the follows, and comments and likes. Criticism is much appreciated._


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I am so damn sorry for such a late update. 2 reasons:_

_1. I am just a lazy sucker and I do not complete my stories. and I have been changing this story line for way too long to be even remotely comfortable to post it._

_2. Busy. yea no kidding. I was actually busy. Whoever thinks shifting houses is hard, try shifting countries. . ._

_I have also changed the narrative style of this chapter from the previous 3. more in present tense. i will go back to other chapters to change their tense too. Its just that present tense comes more easily to me. IDK why I didn't realize that 3 chapters ago, but better late then never._

* * *

Regina places herself on the ground in the corner of the room, out of Emma's way. Her legs stretched out completely, she drums a beat on her thighs, patiently waiting for Emma to finally decide on an object. Every time Emma went for something, the drumming would stop, as Regina prepared the words in her mind. And every time Emma kept the object back, she would huff, biting down on a sarcastic comment.

"Are you ever going to decided?" The words made Emma jump.

"Jesus Regina. Your scared me." She placed a hand over her heart as she turned to face Regina.

"That would have been appropriate if I wasn't in the room, but ok, I will let this one slide."

"Jee thanks." Emma all but spat. "And to answer your question," She remarked, resuming her walk of the place, "I have a few things in sight. It's just that –" She fell silent, chewing at her bottom lip.

"Just what?" Regina asked a little too curious.

Emma sighed, turning to look at Regina again. Letting out a deep, long breath she leaned against the wall, not meeting Regina's eyes. The ex-mayor eyed her suspiciously. It was uncommon to see Emma like this, so confused, _now that I think of it, I don't think I have ever seen her like this._

"You are making this awfully hard for me Emma. There are times when you just won't shut up, and now I have been sitting her for a good 10 minutes, and you have hardly said 3 full sentences."

"It is just that,-" her gaze finally meets Regina's and the uncertainty in them throws her off.

"You are rethinking this whole arrangement?" It was a statement, but turned out more like a question.

"What no. No, no. Not at all." Emma jerks awake, shaking her head. "I'm just scared, scared that I pick something, and what if I can't handle the whole story behind it? I don't want to let you down. I know I made a promise, and I would like to stick to it. What if I can't?"

Regina's hands automatically start to fidget with the hem of her shirt, her gaze firmly locked with Emma's. "You think when I brought you down here I didn't know that? Sure you know things about me. But don't you think I know what sort of impact it can have when you hear those words from me? I'm not going to pretend it doesn't worry me. Because it does, a lot. It is not easy for me to open up like this to you. Knowledge is power as they say, and the more you know about me, the more vulnerable I become to you. But it would be easier for me to move ahead if I knew that you really understood who I was or am. You can choose to walk out of this place with or without me after. But I want you to make this decision based on facts that youhave heard from **me.**"

Emma just stands there, looking at the woman who suddenly seemed helpless and lost. Her mind drifted off to things she had heard about her. All of them seemed to blur in her mind as she realized that Regina, after all, was right. People told her what **they **thought about Regina, but never ones bothered to think why she was the way she is. She was going to do it though, _or why the hell would I be standing in this cryptic place accompanied by the most cryptic woman._

"Dear, I don't mind this staring game we are playing, but it is getting a little bit creepy." Emma just smiles at the woman in front of her, turning around to finally pick up an object.

When Regina sees what Emma has picked up, she just throws her head back and laughs. "Really?" Emma squints her eyes at Regina, trying to look as intimidating as possible. "Out of everything you could pick, you chose a horse hoof! And if you are trying to overawe me with that look, trust me, holding a horse hoof while wearing that shirt and those jeans, isn't going to do you any good."

The look Regina gives her is beyond innocent, and she suddenly turns into a hormonal teenage boy, and _oh god _is she trying to remember the question she was supposed to ask, but she just can't **concentrate. **Her hand, the one holding the horse hoof, falls limply to her side. There is a smirk playing across Regina's face, because she knows **exactly **what she has done. And as much as she would like – _no cross that out_ – loveto see the Sheriff get uncomfortable, she would rather get done with the talk.

"Staring, Ms. Swan, not your best attribute." Regina states just loud enough for Emma to hear.

Emma finally breaks out of her reverie, "I – I'm sorry. I was just a bit distracted." Her voice comes out a little raspy, and she internally curses herself for it.

Regina quirks an eyebrow at her, smirk still in place "I can see that. Now would you like to hear the story or not?"

"Umm, yea. Yea sure." Let's be honest here, Emma is still a bit dazed by the flirting. Not like people haven't flirted with her before, so it is not a flirt thing, it is more like a Regina-flirting-with-Emma thing. But she figures who is she to complain, so she just slumps against the wall, waiting for Regina to start her story.

"The hoof belonged to my horse, Rocinante."

"No shit!" Emma figures sarcasm is her best route back.

Regina just shakes her head. "It could have belonged to a horse that I killed, or someone else's horse. **Anyways, **" Regina continues as she notices Emma open her mouth to reply, "he was my first horse, a baby too at that time. The one I bought with daddy."

Emma's heart swells at the word 'daddy'. Emma loves to hear things like these, because they make Regina look more real, more human than the image in her mind, that she so desperately wants to shatter. Regina notices the look Emma is giving her and groans, "Don't look at me like that."

"What? It's cute." Emma retaliates with a smirk of her own this time.

Regina pinches the bridge of her nose, sighing inwardly. "Why did I think this was a good idea?"

"Beats me." Is all Emma has to offer. "But continue."

"Fine. Remember how I told you, revenge makes you so blind, that you are ready to lose the most important things in your life?" Emma nods. "Well, Rocinante was no exception. When Rumplestiltskin told me that I needed to rip out the heart of the thing I loved most for the curse to work, it was his heart that I used." Regina's gaze drifts to her hands as her fingers play with each other. "Some people might find it funny that he was what I thought I loved most, or some might find it sad. But that was the truth of my life. I always had two friends, Daniel & Rocinante, and I lost both them to magic and desires." Regina could feel tears prickle her eyes. She stops talking as she takes a few deep breaths to regain her composure.

Emma stands quietly, taking in the sight before her. She somehow knows that outside of these four walls, she would hardly be able to see Regina so open and free. It hurts her to know this, because all she wants is for Regina to be herself around her. She knows though, that she has to let Regina ease into it. For a woman who was shunned by people all her life, it was no surprise that Regina never really showed any emotions.

"Thank you, for waiting. I know how stupid I –"

"No stop." This time Emma moves, closing the space between her and Regina in four long strides. She sits on the floor, cross-legged, parallel to, but facing Regina. She stills Regina's nervous fingers with her hand. "It is just you and me here. And you can feel however you want. And trust me, the last thing it does is make you look is stupid. You almost look human." Emma lets out a small laugh that Regina reciprocates. "So you took this thing as a keep sake then huh!" Emma asks shaking the hoof in front of Regina. Regina just nods, her eyes too focused on their joined hands.

"So tell me about those cufflinks." Emma continues placing the hoof on the side, propping her now free hand on her knee for her face to rest on. Regina moves one of her hands around to place it on top of Emma's.

"They belonged to my father. They were a gift from my mother." Her fingers automatically start tracing lazy patterns at the back of Emma's hand. "He loved her very much. But my mother never did love him. All she ever wanted was power. She gave it to him the day they got married, just to show the world that she cared. But he cherished it nevertheless."

By this time, even Emma's index finger had started to draw patterns on her wrist. "Then why did you do it?"

Regina lets out a bitter laugh. "I loved him Emma, I loved him so much. The fact that the curse worked with his heart proves it. But all my life all he did was stand by and watch things happen to me. He was a good man, but not a strong one. I was just so mad at him for never standing up for me. Sure my mother had magic, but it never stopped me, so why did he always cower away from it? It was just so hard for me though. I loved him, but I could never really bring myself to completely forgive him. Who knew how life would have been if he would have just stood by me ones, and not let me get married to the king. So when the time for the curse came, I thought, that just this one time daddy, maybe you could actually do something for your daughter."

"That is just –" Emma's voice trails off.

"I know." She replies, the pain in her voice evident. "I know. There are so many things I would like to take back, but that is the worst kind of curse isn't it?"

"Rhetorical?"

A light laugh escapes Regina. "Yes, Emma, yes."

"Damn I'm getting good at this."

"Don't celebrate just yet, it could be a onetime lucky thing."

"I celebrate the little victories of life, so don't be a buzzkill. Tell me about that scroll. I didn't feel like ripping up the wrapping."

Regina smiles a little noting how they are still holding hands. "That, to your surprise I presume, is a portrait of your mother."

Emmas eyes go wide, "WHAT!?"

"I was right. And maybe next time could you not be so loud."

"Oops, yea, sorry."

"It may be hard for you to believe me, but there was a time when I did truly love her. I took her into town and got it made a day before she had to leave go back. I always saw a fire in her that I knew I had. We were so alike: passionate, determined, free spirited. I thought I had found a confidante in her. But what I want to happen, and what happens are hardly ever the same. I kept it, to remind me of the Snow that I loved."

"She didn't do it on purpose. She wanted what was best for you."

"I know. It just infuriated me so much, that the one thing I precisely asked her to not do she did it. I told her to not tell my mother, even though she might manipulate her into doing it. She did anyways. I exasperated myself trying to forgive her, I almost also did. Then I realized that it was never really supposed to happen. As time went by, everything about her started to get on my nerves. How she had a father who cared for her, a dead mother who truly loved her, hell, even the staff and the workers adored her. I was just an outsider, someone there to fill the void of a queen and the empty bed space for the king. No one missed me when I didn't go to events, no one even noticed me when I was at them because Snow White was there. And then I learned magic, the power to control came naturally to me. Things just took a turn for the worse from then on. I became the one thing I had sworn to never become – my mother."

A hush fell over the room. Regina worried her lips between her teeth hard enough to draw out blood. She lifts her head to look at Emma when she felt the blonde tug at her sleeve. The view Emma is met with makes her breath hitch. Regina's eyes are wildly expressive, silently begging Emma to piece back her completely shattered life. Emma doesn't know what to say, there honestly isn't anything that can be said in that moment that would even remotely make sense. So instinctively Emma leans forward, wrapping Regina in a hug.

Regina stiffens for a moment, not expecting the gesture, but leans into the hug. Her head rests at the crook of Emma's neck, as Emma's free hand moves up and down Regina's arm, consoling her. It was weird, and awkward, but comforting too.

"I would hate to admit it, and I would deny it anytime if even a gist of this gets out, but this is nice."

Emma chuckles. "Oh I know very well Madam Mayor –"

"Which I'm not."

"Oh whatever. **Anyways,**" Emma says, trying to imitate Regina.

"Fail."

"Jesus woman let me talk. God. So as I was saying," Emma hurries through her words, "I know, and don't worry, it won't get out. The last thing I want right now is for you to recoil." There is silence again as both women relish the warmth provided by their bodies. Emma's hand strokes Regina's smooth hair, as Regina's hands caress the outside of Emma's thigh.

After a while, Emma tilts her head down, both their faces only barely apart, "Hey Regina."

"Hmm?"

"Thank you for doing this. I know how hard it is for you. So thank you."

A smile sketches across Regina's face, as she slightly shifts her head up to look at Emma, their noses bumping on the way. "No problem." It is barely a whisper, but Emma hears it loud and clear. Suddenly, Emma's brain goes into overdrive as she realizes the close proximity of their faces.

Before she even knows it, her hands snake their way over to Regina's cheek, trailing a path down to her lips. Her other hand stops its progression around Regina's hips, gripping her, keeping her in place.

Regina's eyes dart to the blondes lips for a moment. Her hand makes its way over to Emma's side, bunching up the material of the blonde's shirt in her fist.

Emma blinks rapidly a few times, trying to take control of the situation, but she can't. She really can't because, _dear good god, _she can feel Regina's breath on her lips. Regina's eyes flutter close and she smiles warmly. "Emma, dear, breathe."

Emma lets out a shaky breath, and traces her lips with the pad of her thumb, wiping out the traces of blood. "I want to kiss you right now."

Regina opens her eyes and Emma swears that is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen in her life. The ex-mayors eyes are dark with desire, but they are also filled with pure, and unfiltered adoration. Emma, for the life of her, cannot understand how anyone could really hate her. But that thought is for another time. _Right now I just really want to kiss her._

Regina leans in just enough to make their lips brush against each other. "Then what's stopping you?"

* * *

A/N: ooooo ... idk if they kissed or not. maybe they did, maybe they didnt. WAHH?

That anon who posted the comment about a drawing of Regina by snow, I couldn't wrap my head around as to why she would keep it, but i did it the other way round. thanks for the idea though.


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a little bit over a week since their little bonding session in an underground crypt. _Yea, I know what you are thinking, but hey it wasn't that bad._ Well it wasn't until their lips were just mere milliliters apart.

**Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.**

"Stop!" **ta-** "If there is something on your mind then talk about it. This pen tapping is getting annoying."

"And here we have parenting 101. Nice going David."

"If you called me dad, then maybe I would try my hand at this parenting thing."

"You do realize how dumb it looks calling you my dad when you are just about a little older then me." Emma replied exasperated. It was weird to her, she just couldn't understand why it wasn't for David and Mary Margaret.

"You should consider yourself lucky that you have two handsomely young parents." She hears David click his tongue twice.

"I would have considered myself lucky if I had parents to raise me." The words are tumbling out of her before she even knows what she is saying. _I have got to think twice, Jesus._ "I'm, I'm sorry. I didn't -"

"No of course you did not." David gives her a reassuring smile. Quickly changing the topic, he asks "Will you tell me what's on your mind?"

Emma could hear David's audible sigh as she resumes tapping, "I don't think I could talk about these things with my **dad**."

Emma looks up to find David smiling at her. "If it's about Regina -" He lets his words hang in the air, hoping to get a helpful response from his daughter.

"It is, but I am still not talking to you about her."

"I won't judge."

"Ohk, so maybe I don't **want** to talk to you about her."

"Ahhh, that makes so much more sense. Snow then?"

Emma shakes her head, "Na-aa. That territory I am definitely not touching."

"You have to talk to someone." Emma groans. "It better be me then Snow. And you know I'm right." David finishes ignoring the loud protest.

She did know. But talking about Regina to one of her biggest enemies, the reluctance has to be pretty understandable. "Wealmostkissed." She mutters, regardless.

"English for us not that linguistically capable."

Emma takes in a deep breath, "Don't make me say it again please."

"I wouldn't if I knew what you had said before."

So she repeats, "Regina and I almost kissed." She almost whispers. "Please tell me you heard it this time."

"Mmhmm. And what do you mean by almost?" David gives her a mischievous grin.

Emma squints her eyes at him, trying to decipher if he was genuinely confused or just teasing her. _Oh he is definitely enjoying this._ "Why are you enjoying this? This is unbelievable." She throws her hands in the air, the pen she had been holding goes flying Davids way.

"Easy there tiger." He says easily deflecting it. "I didn't mean to offend you or your lady love."

Emma's eyes widen in horror, "Never, and I mean **never** say that again." David just throws his head back and laughs. "God, I still cant believe you are actually enjoying this." Emma says, dropping her head on the table.

The loud _thunk_ alerts David, only to have him burst out laughing again. "Do you see why I don't call you dad? My 10 year old is more grown up then you."

"Ok, ok, ahhh." The laughter slowly dies out as David wipes away the tears. "So what exactly is the issue here?" He asks curiously propping his head up on his right arm.

"That I flaked out."

"What exactly happened?"

Emma sighs, turning her chair around to face the man. "Regina and I, we were doing this thing."

"Thing?" David interrupts, one eyebrow quirked.

"One more time, and I swear this conversation is over. Ok?" David nods in response. "And no, not that kind of thing. Just something I would like to keep between us." David nods again, understanding. "So we were talking, and I don't know how or when or even why, but our faces were like _thisclose_." She finishes, indicating with her finger just how close they really were.

"Go on."

"I just wanted to kiss her you know, and even she was ready. But something in the back of mind woke up at the wrong time, and instead I kissed her cheek."

"Why didn't you?" Even he sounded as confused as Emma had felt.

"I thought it was too early. Sure there is this pull between us, and god is it annoying, but it just doesn't feel right. I think I just wanted to kiss her for the sheer need of it, rather than really wanting too. I want it to happen, but it has to happen because there is connection between us, not attraction."

David goes quiet for a while. "I know I said it would be helpful to talk to me, but this little speech made me a little uncomfortable."

It was Emma's turn to laugh. "So now that I have learned my lesson, I will just go out so you can hash it out with Ruby." David gets up to leave, Emma's confused gaze on him.

"She has got you whipped Em. You didn't even notice me come in."

Emma's head jerks to the source of the sound. "Ermm I'm sorry."

"So you are whipped!"

"Whatever." Emma huffs out.

"That is a half ass apology. And you David need to get out of here now."

"Alright, alright." David throws his arms up in mock surrender. "Fill me in on the details later." He throws a wink in Emma's direction. Emma just rolls her eyes. Stopping at the door he turns around, "Actually on second thought, don't tell me."

"Wasn't planning on it." Emma shoots back.

"Glad we are on agreement then. Good bye ladies." Are the last word David says before he bows down to them, and then walking out.

Emma juts out her lower lip, looking at Ruby for an explanation. Ruby just shrugs, "They call him Charming for a reason."

"Ugh." Emma throws her head back. "This is even worse than walking on them almost doing it."

"Trust me, you don't want to do **that**." Emma and Ruby both shudder at the thought. "So this whole Regina deal. It is pretty understandable you know. I mean as long as Regina knows, there really isn't any issue. So why are you all worked up about it?"

Emma closes her eyes, running her hands over her face. "She does know the real reason right?" Emma peeks out from between her two fingers and mumbles a '_maybe' _into her palms.

"Emma Swan, what did you do?"

"I just backed out."

"Just backed out? You **just backed out!?**" Ruby glares at Emma, crossing her arms over her chest. All Emma can do is nod. "Well go on then."

"I just moved away from her, trying to get as much distance as possible. Then I continued the talk we were having."

"And she didn't ask what had just happened?"

"She might have."

"And how did you deflect that one?" Ruby asks as she props herself up on the table.

"I just repeated my question again. She looked at me all weird for a while, but then she answered."

"You are so pathetic."

"Thanks for the ego boost there, buddy." Emma hisses.

"What happened after you guys were done with 'the talk'" Ruby even bothers to throw quotes around the words.

"She just drove me home. In silence might I add."

"Doesn't surprise me. And you haven't talked to her since then?"

"More like she hasn't talked to me." Emma replies, sheepishly.

"Beats me!" Ruby shrugs, still clearly annoyed by Emma's behavior.

"Wow cut down with the sarcasm maybe? Not like I'm in a jolly good mood here. And why do you even care? Not like you like her or anything!"

"No, but you do, and she definitely likes you back. I mean if you are the reason she becomes the good one, then who are we to complain?"

"And what if I am not?"

"Well you are doing one hell of a good job right now."

"Seriously!?" This time Emma glares at her.

"Fine, fine. What I am trying to say is, she isn't the easiest woman to be around. But she seems to have let you in, and what you did was shut her out. Sure you didn't want the kiss, and with good reason too. But maybe if you would have just explained it to her."

"I am **such **an idiot. I should have called her, or talked to her or something. What is **wrong **with me?" Emma rambles on as the realization of her actions hits her full force.

"Thank you for coming in terms with your reality, you just saved me an intervention."

"You just don't stop do you?"

"It's a gift. But enough about me. You said it yourself, you should talk to her. Then what are you waiting for?"

"The fact that it is currently 11 PM."

"Is that the excuse you have been using all week?"

"Nope. It was more along the lines of 'I don't know what I should say' and also sometimes 'shit she has magic now.'"

"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well." Ruby states as a matter of fact.

Emma looks at her, giving her the patented 'what' look.

"Mark Twain, just saying."

"Could have used the word procrastination."

"Nah, this is more endearing. Look you are doing it again. Get off your clad-in-super-tight-jeans ass Sheriff, and go get your woman!"

Emma slouches even further down the chair. Ruby, now clearly tired of Emma's antics, moves to pull her up.

"I swear to God if you don't go out this door right now, I will unleash my wolf on you."

"Is that even possible?"

"And you ask me if I ever stop! But no, full moon is in 3 days. So there. Now get out." Ruby shoves Emma towards the door.

"Can I at least get my jacket?" Emma turns around to grab it.

"Oh no!" Ruby beats her to it, snatching it away. "You are bad at apologies anyways, so we have to give Regina a reason to even give you a half-hearted chance at a talk."

"And you think sexual appeal is the way."

Ruby drops the jacket on the desk, moving to place her hands over Emma's shoulder. Leaning in a little she whispers, "That is **always **the way."

"I think I am going to leave before this gets any weirder."

"Good call Sheriff." Ruby mock salutes.

Emma shakes her head, a smile on her face. "Thanks Ruby."

"No problem." And with that, Emma exits the station, making her way to the yellow Bug.

Ten minutes and a million thoughts later Emma finds herself standing at the porch that had previously been the place of one too many important events. Her palms are getting sweaty from the sweltering heat of her body. She shouldn't be this nervous, sure worried, but not nervous. _Just explain it to her and it will be all fine. _She reassures herself for probably the seventeenth time that night.

It is all kind of screwed up for her. She had never been good at keeping people close, and the fact that her brain and heart were at constant battle with each other never really proved useful either. But she had to do this. If Regina had given her a chance, then she couldn't just let it go. _Of course you can't. _And with this reassurance, she knocks at the door. _What? Did I just knock? Dammit brain. _So she does the normal, and rings the bell this time around.

A part of her is hoping Regina is asleep, and the other half is just too damn nervous to want anything. She has all but given up when the door clicks open. The first thing Emma notices, which is so uncharacteristically Regina, is her dressing. Not like she had never seen Regina in a night suit before, but it was always silk.

This time though, she is in wearing plain black fold-away shoes, accompanied by simple pair of grey sweatpants, its strings lazily hanging around her torso. Her shirt, black in color of course, starts right where the sweats end. It is loosely fitted, yet somehow reveals each and every curve of Regina's body. And the neck line, _oh good god, _is showing just the right amount of cleavage.

"What?" Regina asks sharply.

Emma looks at Regina, blushing when she realizes how shamelessly she had been eyeing the woman. "Your dressing." She shrugs.

"There is no harm in wanting to feel comfortable."

Emma shakes her head, "Nope, none. I just haven't seen you **this** comfortable."

"Why are you here Ms. Swan?" The fact that Regina calls her by her last name throws Emma off.

"I just – I just came here to talk. About what happened, you know."

"Oh yea? Been busy this week?" Regina's eyes are unexpressive, her expression unreadable.

Emma tries to conjure up an excuse and play along with Regina's assumption, when her brain ticks in and she grasps it was nothing but sarcasm.

Emma takes a step towards Regina, "Listen, Regina, I'm sorry. I know what I did – "

"Save it." Is all Regina says before she slams the door on Emma's face.

* * *

_A/N: Does this feel like a filler chapter? It sure as hell does to me. I had it written for a while now, but I am changing things around because I want the story to meet the actual shows story line from time to time (the whole Cora thing etc). Hence this pathetic excuse of a chapter._

_I would though very much appreciate your opinion on something: does Regina open the door again to let Emma in as she is just about to go? Or does Emma have to cook something up to make Regina talk to her again?_

_As usual, criticism much appreciated, so are randomly weirdly awesome comments :P_

_GO BREAK A LEG!_


End file.
